Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Tall Trees, Batmobiles...

Blogger is angering me and I have cabin fever.

The outdoors called me to take a little hike in biting cold wind. A short walk did me and my lower back good. The wind blurred my vision but I kept listening... I heard chipping noises high in a tree and it took a while for me to see what I think was a little Chickadee busy at work on top of a pine cone.

See the little butt straight up? I wonder what this little bird was getting from this pine cone. Other than seeing several Cardinals and Juncos (hardy birds), it was quiet. Gosh, I can't wait for the warm weather to return.

This is the tree where I saw a red-bellied woodpecker a week or two ago. I rolled down my window and listened…no woodpecker today, but I thought the tree looked like a picture with the sun beaming behind it.

Chloe and Bella were with me in the yard, trembling in the cold, while I scooped frozen poopsicles. Here’s a shot of the birds waiting for me to “leave the premises”. Don’t they realize I’m a harmless paparazzi and the one who feeds them? Come eat out of my hand, will ya?

In Memoriam of the Mourning Dove who met its fate in my backyard yesterday, he's gone, with only a pile of feathers left behind.

Now on to more serious but silly matters. If I had to make my commute to work in cities like Boston, New York, or Los Angeles, I’d slit my throat. I’ll bet most people driving in those cities are on medication. In my little town of Huntersville, I shouldn’t complain, but we really need more roads to accommodate the influx of residents and business around here. Today I met up with the worst – all in one day. Risk takers, aggressive drivers, slow-pokes, drivers on my rear end, and an accident involving two women driving soccer vans while holding a cell phone to their ears. Serves them right! On days like this I dream of owning a vehicle similar to a Batmobile.

If I had a Batmobile, it would have helicopter capability. Tired of sitting in a back-up on a one-lane road, I’d press the “copter” button and finish my commute in the air. How cool would that be? I'm glad I'm not driving a 5-speed. For those idiots pushing my back bumper, I’d press the warning button that would blink red from my rear window, “Back off, Jack!” If the idiot continued to squirm in his seat and annoy me, I’d hit the “spike” button and blow out his tires from the rear of my car. Those people who continue to drive ten miles below the speed limit would really get it! I’d have sirens and lights that would scare the living daylights out of a cop or firefighter… “PULL OVER, BUD! If you can’t drive it, PARK IT!”

That’s what I want. My dream car. Batmobile. A black helmet would look silly on my little blonde head but at least I’d get from A to B in record time! A black cape is not my style, though.


Anonymous said...

Oh Mary I love it, and the original Batmobile to boot! That's good! I usually think of a tank when I get involved in traffic so I can just plow through it. But, being a Batman lover myself, I like the Batmobile idea much better!
I love the fuzzy bewd butt! And the tree silhouette - you know I'm loving that. Yeah, I always feel bad when the bewds go scattering to the trees when I go outside. I tell them "Birdies, I am so your friend and I am not going to hurt you!" Come let me see you and hear you closer!

LauraHinNJ said...

No more roads please!

But a bat-mobile would be nice. I would love spikes on the back of my car to shoot at annoying drivers!

I'm not sure what that little bewd is, but I don't think it's a chickadee? Hmmm... maybe someone else will know.

Susan Gets Native said...

Mary, you SLAY me!
Things I wish I had on my car:
A machine gun.
A sign that I could type messages into, to tell people where to go and how to get there.
And while I am on a rant:
I hate joggers and bikers. I wish I had the nerve to creep up on joggers and take their shoes off with my front tire.
We have signs around here that say "Share the Road" with a picture of a biker on them.
I don't have to share s***.
I hate it when the birds scatter when I open the door. Do they not know I am the Feeder Matron?????

KGMom said...

The only thing I would need on my car for a daily commute would be a loudspeaker that could broadcast my thoughts. . .oh, actually baaaaad idea. Considering what I think of fellow drivers at times.

Anonymous said...

OMG - I came back to reread your post and am not only ROFL over your post, but Susan's comment!
There was a bike rider coming towards me today - in the snow - he was definitely taking his life in his own hands riding on the wrong side in this kind of weather!

dmmgmfm said...

I love it Mary! What a great post, you made my day.

Mary said...

There are days on the road when I wish I could arrest some of those idiots, or at least pound their hood with my fist. I agree with Susan, I'm afraid I might (not intentionally) take out a biker or jogger - those risk takers! And I like the idea of a loud speaker or magaphone, "Move it!" Oh, I'd probably get shot.

I don't think it was a chickadee, either Laura. It was very tiny and unfortunately the photo didn't give any clues. Not a good photo day.

Jayne said...

I think your mystery birdie is a brown headed nuthatch. :c)

Love the batmobile idea!

Anonymous said...

Sounds like people need spring badly! Many of our roads have bike lanes and our city buses have bike carriers on the front for those who bike and bus. People are encouraged to leave the car at home because of global warming. I biked to work for many years. As far as bad drivers go, they live here too. I listen to my favourite music and keep my distance. There is no way they are going to make my blood pressure rise!I drive as part of my job so I have had to find ways to enjoy the ride.

Unknown said...

Hope your commute was better today, Batgirl! You crack me up!

And, thanks for the bird butt picture. How bad can a day be when you get to see a fuzzy bewd butt?

Unknown said...

Ha! You think bikers are bad where you are? Try narrow, windy mountain roads with barely enough room to get by them. And, tons of blind corners and the driver behind you is getting pissed that you won't risk a head-on to get by the guy on the bike. ARGH!

Hmmmm, seem to have hit a nerve there!

Let's not even talk about the idiot teenagers who think its cool to skateboard down the middle of our roads with NO HELMETS on wearing BLACK CLOTHES at dusk! I'm all for evolution in action but it would seriously mess up my day to take one of them out while simply coming around a corner and BOOM there they are . . . er . . . were.

Jess Riley said...

I almost kill people with my car on a daily basis--there are hordes of women that work near my parking ramp, and every day when the weather's foul they speed-walk IN THE PARKING RAMP during their morning break. It's shadowy + twists & curves + I'm speeding b/c I'm late for work = near misses every time.