Customer Service, then Advil

Could this plane be carrying a package for me?

The saga continues. My dead remote mouse and keyboard are still collecting dust.

March 24: Dell technician makes the decision to replace both parts and sends a follow-up e-mail outlining the plan.

March 26: Dell leaves a recorded message on our answering machine stating the parts will ship in one to two days and apologized for the delay.

April 2: No delivery. I call Dell from work. The computerized voice at the other end is asking me numerous questions that don’t even apply to my case and waiting for me to give answers I don’t have, so I fake answers.

My stewing began after wasting ten minutes without talking anyone. The first technician I spoke with was sweet and cheery but unfortunately, she needed to transfer me to the Parts technicians. I waited and listened to a recorded message suggesting I get on line and visit www.dellcustomercare.com and get quick and easy responses to questions within six hours on their chat line. I also listened to suggestions for computer upgrades, adding peripherals, and all sorts of stuff I could purchase to enhance my system but I didn’t give a rat’s ass about buying anything new and I didn’t want a chat line! I wanted someone on the phone line to tell me when my stuff will be delivered. That’s all I wanted!

Ten minutes pass. I’m still conducting business, e-mails, etc. and waiting…stewing. Steam rising from my scalp. Ordinarily, I would have just hung up and tried another time but I had this rage thing going on…

Finally, a technician (dialogue, nearly verbatim),

“Welcalm do DELL. I am Williom. How canna help you dooday?”

This guy spoke loudly, slowly, and deliberately. I don’t even think he had a foreign accent – it sounded more like a speech impediment. Oh, this is great, I thought.

I gave him my case number and a few other numbers he asked for and he was so pleased,

“Well, Maury, tank you for providing doze numbers. How do you pronounce your name? I am sorry bud I am not vera good with names.”

Me: Mary.

“Marie?”

Me: No, Mary. Like, Mary had a little lamb. [my eyes rolling]

“And ess your last name Furanchi?”

Me: Ferracci. It’s pronounced ‘Ferr-a-cci’.

I’m glad he didn’t give Ferracci another try.

Our entire conversation, lasting about twenty minutes, consisted of his extremely professional and courteous lines like, “Ok, den. I will need to put on hold you while I check some-ting. Is that OK, Marie?”, or “Tank you for waiting while I check on diss item.” This was too much politeness and small talk for me. Let’s get on with it, please… The music on hold was screeching loud enough to make me put pressure on my temples.

After his long apology for having me on hold,

“I see dat Michelle did cancel the parts order.”

Me: What? Who is Michelle?

“States dat Michelle cancel the order. Is another name on your account?”

Me: Yes, that would be my husband, Michael.

“Sorry. I am not vera good with names. Den Michael cancelled diss order.”

Me: Impossible! We did not cancel this order. We are expecting a delivery, according to Dell… [now I’m really getting hot]

He put me on hold again and for a long time. I’m massaging temples. He came back and apologized profusely for putting me on hold and thanked me for waiting. Before he could finish his repertoire,

Me: Ok, Ok. What’s going on?

“Da parts were ordered as separate from da computer Inspiron 1710 (and then he recited all of the specifications – why???). And dat warranty expire in 2009. Your two udder parts were ordered separate on December 12, 2006 and dat warranty expire in 90 day.”

Me: What???!!! This is ridiculous. We had problems with both parts in January. You must have a record of our case numbers.

“Well, dat is vera good, Maury. But I cannot deal with diss part. I will need to transfer you to other rep but you understand the warranty expire all ready.”

You know? I had enough and wasn’t getting anywhere with this kind fool. So I ended the conversation in a pleasant way. Looking back at that conversation, it’s so funny, and if I weren’t so frustrated, I could have talked to him for a long time, just for the fun of it.

Later that evening, Michael, a.k.a. Michelle, got on the phone and after a one hour conversation with several people, our issue was resolved. I should have my new keyboard and mouse before Friday at 6:00 p.m. when a Dell rep will call to confirm its delivery and help us to properly install the new parts. My guess is that the saga will continue…

I have so much work to do on my blog template and it’ll be wonderful to let my fingers fly around the keyboard without wiping out a post caused by one brush and touch of a finger.

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The winds howled today and I was downright cold. The pollen and wind made my eyes run like open faucets but I was able to see a little surprise that was nearly hidden in the grass. I was shocked at the small size of a Chipping Sparrow. [enlarge photos]

Look at the back of this little fast moving, hard working bird.

Taking baby steps and trying not to breathe, I tried to get closer but I knew I was pushing my luck. There were four of them jumping around gathering fine nesting material. Sweet.

These photos were taken during my mile walk on campus and at the moment I decided to pack it up, I saw a very shy Robin. Very nice back!

Last photo of the day, taken on my way to work at dawn. I trespassed onto a private driveway to get this photo. If I could have waited five minutes, the sky would have illuminated these adorable sheep.