It’s April 13th and snow storms are still raging in the northern part of the country. Winter arrived late and is refusing to leave on schedule. Should I complain about the recent freeze that sucked the life out of the bright green leaves on the Crepe Myrtles? No, I shouldn’t. But I haven’t seen so many trees and plants take such a beating in mid-April.
I walked the campus today, thinking of a possible site for the Wildlife Habitat I’m organizing with the college. A naturalist employed by the State of NC will be meeting with me and a small group of campus employees for a tour of the grounds to determine a few good sites for our project.
There is something about new, bright green, moist leaves in early Spring that shakes me up. There is a lot of life around. It’s been put on hold, that’s all.
Of the six campuses, we are the only campus without a water supply. There is a creek bed behind the buildings that is swamp-like and dries up completely during summer months. To gain certification for a Wildlife Habitat, we need water! The small amount of money we've been granted won’t even cover a truckload or two of mulch, so installing a water feature is out of the question unless we rely on community partners/donations.
The Japanese Willow on my pond survived the freeze very well! Ahhhh… It’s a young tree and is quite beautiful!
I took the afternoon off and went to buy some sunflower seed and stopped at Target to buy stuff to wrap gifts for a bridal shower Gina and I are attending tomorrow. The cold rain is gone so I wiped the feeder ledges clean and enjoyed the sunshine but my wedding anniversary post from last night kept haunting me.
Why does Old Man Winter do this? Was that me in those photos? How can that be me when I see myself in the mirror now? (really profound, huh?) The thought behind that post and choosing those photos invoked some emotions that I didn’t think I had. I’ve never fretted over aging and always accepted the inevitable. Now I’m heartsick, missing that young girl I once was and a few times today I was on the verge of tears.
What saddens me more is that I regret being so critical of myself and insecure at that young age and for many years after. Why didn’t I enjoy the youthful beauty I owned? A harder question to answer: Why don’t I just accept my age, shut up about it, and take better care of myself? I always embraced a phrase I heard before, “A woman is like a bottle of wine, aging better over time.” Well, that’s a crock. I miss having one chin and resilient skin. My eyelids are beginning to rest on my eyelashes, the lines on my face are beginning to look like a road map, and my waistline disappeared years ago.
If someone tells me I’m silly and that I don’t look like a dried up hag, I won’t buy it. I know what I need to do to reverse aging and it doesn’t happen at the cosmetic counter, either (but it helps…). I have work to do to reverse some damaged I’ve unintentionally done to myself.
When I’m down and want to be alone, there are two little angels by my side that are always providing reasons to smile. They’re interested in bunny poop in this photo. Can you guess which butt belongs to whom?
We switched from rolling real golf balls in the house to throwing small Air Dogs that squeak! I can't figure why Bella looks taller than Chloe in this photo...hmmm. She's much wider than Chloe but a bit shorter.
A little while ago, I fed the pond fish and three Chickadees landed around the feeders. Did I have my camera? No. I shouldn’t curse under my breath to birds I love so much…
I feel so much better now.