Thursday, December 07, 2006

Grumblings and Rumblings

Before I begin this somewhat cranky journal entry, I want to talk about the wind gusts of fifty miles per hour we are having now. Snow in the mountains northwest of us, lots of it, and Charlotte is dipping to the teens by tomorrow night. Brown oak leaves are funneling and blowing past my face. The wind chimes are singing louder than I have ever heard them. When I came home from work I could see that the pond was losing water way too quickly as the wind smacked the waterfall so hard and was blowing the water up and out of it. I turned the pump off. A gloomy photo of the pond follows, far different from the ones I took just a month ago when the canna were in bloom and the grasses were high and green. The fish are laying motionless tonight. No scrambling to the surface when they see or hear me.


This is my third week of being on the Weight Watchers diet. Everyone I know who has been with the program is so pleased and successful with it. It does have its merits! During my first week on the diet, I lost two pounds despite it being Thanksgiving Week. Last week, however, I lost one lousy, lonely pound. Well, yeah, maybe I wasn't diligent with my point-keeping and I didn't exercise, but I have given up so much! Once in a while, I'll have one pretzel vs. the twenty I'd normally eat. I treat myself to one small handful of nuts a week, usually on the weekend, after weigh-in. I carry my point guide with me that constantly reminds me that one ounce of cheese equals lunch!

My handy reference guide, full of bad news.

Today was particularly challenging. Knowing I need to weigh in less than forty-eight hours from now puts the pressure on. Low-fat oatmeal for breakfast, no mid-morning snack, tossed salad for lunch with red wine vinegar, garlic, and olive oil (quite good, actually), and one stick of string cheese. Being overly busy at work, I haven't remembered to drink the water I need. I'll work on that. By 2:30, I was audibly starving. Then I received an e-mail annoucement of a birthday party for one of our security guards at 3:30. DARN! Now I need to go to a party with cake and ice cream and pass? Just before the calories-and-fat-loaded party started, I ate a McIntosh apple. I sat at the gathering with my hands folded on my lap and staring at the Breyers Ice Cream - vanilla with bean specks. Oh, my...help me! I went back to my office quickly and looked up ice cream in my reference guide. One-half cup of regular ice cream - 4 points. That's almost a whole lunch. My shoulders drooped and I sighed. Knowing I have flex points, I thought to myself, "ice cream or wine tonight?" I chose wine.

All I want to do is to lose fifteen more pounds, preferably between my neck and the bottom of my butt. It's hereditary from my father's side of the family to be top heavy. We are all built like ticks, a family of chickens, with skinny legs and little behinds. Sigh...

For dinner, I had more salad, lean meat, and I counted my baked beans, one by one. I'm not hungry anymore but my cravings are getting the best of me.

Inside my pantry, my old friends are calling my name...

Hmmm. Maybe if I walk briskly for four miles this weekend I can eat that whole bag of pretzels!

7 comments:

Ruth said...

I believe I am the same age as you, and my metabolism is slowing down greatly. I had to chuckle at the mental image of you counting beans on your plate. I wear a pedometer every day and exercise is the only way I can lose or maintain my weight. I aim for 10000 steps a day, and generally have to take a walk at lunch or after dinner to hit the mark, even though I have a very active job.
good luck at WW.
...and we have lots of snow here!

Susan Gets Native said...

I want to meet those happy, smiling people on the Weight Watchers manual. And then I would like to strangle them.

Mary said...

Ruth - several years and 25 pounds ago, I walked 2-4 miles a day, every day. I drank a lot of water and had a Snickers bar every afternoon. This is why I need to do what you do. Walk. I'm jealous of your snow...

Susan - I have had the same thought!

LauraHinNJ said...

At my job a lot of ladies walk together at lunchtime - maybe you can find a buddy to walk with?

Janeyms said...

Mary, every time you get discouraged at that one lousy pound take a pound of butter out of your refrig and contemplate that! You will realize that one pound is alot more when you can literally hold it in your hand and SEE just what came off your posterior in the past week! That's why all those goofy people on the WW manual are grinning like Chessy cats!

samtzmom said...

Mary, I used to weigh 200 pounds, so I feel your pain. I had tried every diet under the sun, but until I figured out the reason I ate like I did, I was never able to get a grip on it all. Breaking the cycle of letting the food control me instead of me being in control was the single most important thing I did, other than finding other ways to feed my loss of control in my life. I'd get my old friends out of the pantry, as even in the dark, you can hear their whispers. The longer you can choose not to have them, the less of a pull they have.

Mary said...

Laura - I worked with very few women, mostly men. But I'm going to put my sneakers on and walk around the building (quickly) every two hours this week. It'll take 10 minutes each time.

Jane - I held a pound of butter from the fridge. Now I can appreciate the "lonely pound".

Samtzmom - Your insight is so true. Finding a passion to keep me immersed in it will help keep me away from the frig. I won't give up the fight.