It's been nearly five months since my Mom died and the last time I saw my Dad. Tomorrow morning, we are driving to Maryland to see him.
The range of emotions I'm feeling right now is hard to put into words. Clearly, I want to see him but a feeling of dread is washing over me and I hate it. He's failing quickly and his quality of life is so poor right now... A nursing home is in his immediate future.
Watching your parents fail and die tests your own bravery and I'll accept the challenge to stay strong. Tomorrow when I walk through the door and see him, I'll be my silly self and talk with him as if I saw him yesterday, and who knows, maybe he'll know me as his daughter!
May 2006
3 comments:
I'll send along some *strength* vibes to you for tomorrow.
I felt the same with my dad before he got so sick he had to come and live with me. I hated to see him going downhill a little bit with each visit, but he was adamant about maintaining his independence and lifestyle.
Would it be easier for you to have him closer to you, where you could keep a better eye on him?
Laura, thanks for your note. He lives with my brother and his family but his health demands more care than a visiting nurse or my brother can give. I'll keep my chin up and get through it!
Mary,
As you know I have been there and done that with my own mother. As hard as it was I can not help but wonder if my own health today would be better had I listened to all the experts and placed her in nursing care rather than try to do it on my own. My heart and prayers are with you, and I know your strength is abundant enough to get through this difficult time.
By the way, don't forget that cookie jar on your trip north and if you get within 20 minutes of Stewartstown CALL ME!!!!!
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