Saturday, September 05, 2009

What Sticky Says



DSCF0625

Inquiry to self on a regular Wednesday evening: What am I doing outside past dark? The stars are so bright and the air is cool but I have other pressing issues to tend to other than wandering around the yard admiring my new miniature gargoyle, and talking to stupid tree frogs.

DSCF0725

With only an hour until bedtime, this is nonsense.


DSCF0732

Meet Sticky. We cross paths every night. He makes me smile.


DSCF0453

Ms. Mary, you should get yourself inside and get blogging and Facebooking instead of talking to us stupid tree frogs. I heard you say stupid, you know.

But, but, but I discovered newer, easier ways to relax this summer, Sticky. An hour or two to spare is better spent lounging with my feet up instead of sorting through hundreds of photos or working on the blog, stupid frog. Shut the hell up and hold still for the camera while I elaborate a tad about the Lifetime channel. Lifetime on Sunday afternoons. Ahhhh… escape with the love, the lust, the mystery. I could sniffle the day away sometimes.

Let me tell you about my head-over-heels new love. HGTV.

I quit smoking eight months ago, gave up cookies, potato chips, and wine, but I can’t shake HGTV.


Property Virgins!
House Hunters!
Bang for Your Buck!
Beyond the Box!
Pure Design!
Income Property (includes h-h-hot Scott)!
Extreme Living!
Curb Appeal!
Design on a Dime!


It is reality TV at its finest, for me. From HGTV I learned we need more hardwood floors. Our home absolutely deserves more shiny hardwood and nice tile and it’s coming next week. Seriously. Cha-ching.

Staring at a TV is ecstatically easy and lazy.

We bloggers give so much for free.

We give up HGTV!

DSCF0455

You are lame, lame, lame. Shame, shame on you.

I know, I know, I know. Sticky, shut up and be still. Let me take your picture and I’ll save it with a few hundred others that are screaming to be seen, little stupid frog. And I’ll tell you what’s lame…

Some of those HGTV people are odd, materialistic, and they make no sense. Most of them would rather die than to live with laminate kitchen countertops instead of granite. Laminate should NOT be a deal breaker!
They all say,

"This is a great space.
I like this space.
This space has potential.
This is perfect adult space."

Stop.

Whaaaaat? What’s adult space? In my lifetime, the only space in a house where an adult might be able to escape from children and pets is called the “bathroom”. Yep, on the crapper is where you’ll find me...

Give me strength.

With cameras rolling inside a fabbo $900,000 home, a real estate agent listens to a young couple critique the size of a multi-media space (formerly called a TV room or family room). How dare they criticize the size of a “space” in an 8,000 square foot house wherein the master suite bedroom closet is twice the size of my family room. Do two people really deserve to take up that much space in this world? Perhaps I’m just a little bit jealous.

So, what do ya say, Sticky? Let's call it a night.

DSCF0464

Alright. You’re boring me and I'm sleepy.

Yeah, me too. Outta here. House Hunters in five minutes!

********************************************

OMG, I wrote that. I’ve reached a new low… Out of practice, I guess.

I wish to redeem myself with two of my personal best photographs taken yesterday.

The summer has been mild and we could benefit from a few good rain showers. Since May I’ve been short on energy and time but I have made it a priority to find time to spend with my Fuji.

I have a lovely summer gallery to share –

Hopefully, before the trees are bare.

DSCF0678

Hummingbird photos taken on my day off. I rarely see the sun rising on my green gems.

DSCF0675

30 comments:

Susan Gets Native said...

One of your best posts, Mary. Fer real.
Your honesty, furiously typed into your blog and shoved out into the Inter tubes....I love it.
And you.
:)

Peg said...

"Stupid Tree Frogs" ? ? ?
No way. Never ! !

KGMom said...

Oh, fav gripe of mine--that McMansion mania that has seized parts of this country.
How many acres of earth are destroyed for two people to live in a huge space. How many birds no longer have a place to roost? how many frogs die? or rabbits? or turtles? I could go on and on.
We live in a very modest home--and I do mean modest.
We put two children through top-notch universities with NO DEBT to them (or us), and also each of them through a master's program.
We have travelled to European countries once a year for a bit over ten years.
We are not house poor.
We are incredibly blessed, and live entirely within our means.
Hmmm--I think I got going on a topic here.
Sorry--just glad to hear from you.

Robert V. Sobczak said...

I don't have a TV ... well we do, but only for DVDs: no cable. I miss sports, but am weirdly too lazy or cheap to subscribe. Part of the problem is I never have time. Great photos by the way. Do you still miss Maryland?

nikkipolani said...

Mary, you made me smile with your HGTV tales. I don't have cable but I can imagine the scenes you're describing. And as for those two personal best shots -- they are nothing short of astounding. You do amazing things with that Fuji.

Lisa at Greenbow said...

Nice to see you in the blogging world Mary. I missed you. Your photos are marvelous and I like your stoopid little green friend.

Jayne said...

Oh Mary, you so crack me up girl! I've watched a good number of those HGTV shows too, and they are fun. But, I will say that I miss you here... really. So, how about you blog during the commercials???

Dog_geek said...

Heehee - I love Sticky, the wise tree frog. We had a tree frog that lived under the rim of the water garden on our deck for two summers - we named him Waldo Snack, but sadly he hasn't been around this summer. So it was nice to see Sticky up close and personal.

Susan Ellis said...

You're back! Good! And I love HGTV too...right up there with the Food Network.

littleorangeguy said...

We've missed you, Mary! Love, love, love your HGTV analysis.

Kathiesbirds said...

Mary, Gus and I are SOOOOOO-O-O with you! We watch that channel all the time and think just the same thing about all those people who complain if there are not stainless steel appliances and granite counter tops. And the size of those rooms! I see people with 4000 square foot homes with one child complaining the house is too small and they have to move! MY goodness! I would have died for a 4 bedroom house when my kids were growing up! We lived for 6 years in a 2 bedroom 1200 sq. ft house with 1 1/2 baths! We turned the family room into the boy's dorm which left 1 bedroom for my only daughter and 1 bedroom for us! Your post made us both laugh so hard! This is writing at its best! You are outstanding! I laughed until tears came into my eyes!

NatureWoman said...

I love your new gargoyle, Mary! Sticky's a riot! It's like he posed for you, too.
I *love* HGTV, too! Anything about fixing up houses is fun! I can't wait to see your hardwood floors. I'm all about hardwood floors!

Kerri said...

Sticky is fabulous! And I LOVE the hummers! So glad you posted!
We miss you!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Margaret said...

Oh.My.God. Being the biggest frog fan ever, I am beside myself from the cuteness of Sticky! Can't stand it...too much cuteness...

Ok, I'm fine now. Your hummingbird pictures are amazing. I have not been overcome by the spell of HGTV, though for some reason I feel the need to buy shoes from QVC whenever I am in my "multimedia space" and the TV is on.

Heather said...

Good to hear from you, Mary. Sticky is too cute. And so is your little hummer in those last two pictures - fantastic! I saw someone mentioned blogging between commercials... I don't know about you, but I don't blog well with the TV on - can' concentrate. Have fun with your new HGTV addiction.

Beth said...

It's great to see you again, Mary. I'm with you on the crazy mansion people--frogs and hummingbirds and the occasional gargoyle--that's where it's at.

Q said...

Dear Mary,
She IS so so very beautiful....just gorgeous....we will miss them when they leave.
wonderful photographs...tree frogs are cute!
Sherry

Ruth said...

Well I loved this post! I don't think you have churned out a bad one yet. I would love to meet Sticky...
(I love your little gargoyle)

Rose said...

Mary, I've just spent 15 minutes on my front porch trying to cajole a hummingbird to come back down so I could take a photo of him. And here you have two of the most beautiful photos of them I've ever seen! (And Mr. Sticky is a cutie, too.) I used to watch HGTV when it had more gardening shows, but I rarely watch it anymore. I quit watching those house flipping shows when a realtor bought a house that had been on the market for a few years. The first thing he did was to cut down a big, beautiful tree in the front yard so people could "see" the house. I turned off the TV... I'll just stick with my laminate countertops and buy more plants for the garden:)

possumlady said...

Great ghostly gargoyle shot!!

Like a previous poster, I used to watch HGTV a lot more about 10 years ago when it truly was about gardens. I watched just one of those new programs about buying first homes and was sickened by this young 20 something couple complaining that the houses they saw didn't have a jacuzzi in the master bathroom!! Beyond wishing for more storage space, I'm quite content in my little 900 square foot cottage.

LOVE Mr. Sticky!! My sister in Minnesota used to have a tree frog hanging off and looking into her second floor bathroom window...BUT, only when my sister's husband was out of town!! She named the frog, the Stalker Frog!

Iris said...

Lifetime is one of my best and most favorite clients. Just think of watching LTV as supporting NC business!

Heidi said...

So you seriously can't watch HGTV and blog at the same time? It's been ages since I watched that channel, but I think I could manage it. After all, they all say the same thing, show after show. It's indoctrinated into designers in school ya know.

Ah... memories. The shallowness of it all is a big part why I don't design anymore.

Corey said...

Posted an hour and a half ago and already 22 comments . . talk about popular!

Your froggie is cute, and your narrative is spot-on (I talk to the Mockingbirds personally, but to each his own).

Tina said...

Such a wonderful shot of that hummer!! Glad you took some of those hgtv seconds away from who the next design star will be to blog...missed seeing your photos and reading your thoughts!
Glad you are keeping busy but relaxing..enjoy your new tile and don't forget to fill a large bowl with green apples and or lemons for your table..just like they do on every episode of design to sell..what do they do with all those green apples and lemons after the shoot!! rot, I guess or maybe they are plastic! yikes!

Anonymous said...

LOL Mary!

I am an HGTV fan as well some of my fav's are

Anything with Sarah Richardson (she has a few different shows)
Holmes on Homes
Divine Design
Location Location Location
Relocation Relocation
Build a new life in the country
Disaster DIY

I'm in Canada so I don't know if you get any of those in the US, most of them are Canadian and British shows, and I totally agree with you with regards to your commentary LOL It boggles my mind as well the comments people make about space and decor. I think my fav's are when people don't like it because of the colour or the appliances aren't stainless steel as if these things can't be changed easily. What also floors me is how people expect everything to be modern and if it isn't it must all be replaced right away. My mother waited 25 years to get a new kitchen!

As for tree frogs I rescued over 100 eggs this year from a dried up ditch and raised them from eggs to adults and set them free. Took most of the summer but it was very gratifying to help some frogs out considering their dwindling numbers world wide so really nice to see you have some too.

I have the same camera you do but for the life of me I still can't figure out how to take pictures the way you do with yours. How in the world do you get a hummingbird like that? What setting are you using?

Nice to hear from you again Mary!

Gaelen

Wendy said...

Cute little froggie! Your hummingbird pics are totally awesome! I wish I could take pics like that!!

Glad you're back - and making us laugh. It's good to hear from you!

Mary said...

Hi Everybody,

I just took a break from "Income Property" to write before I go to bed, LOL!

I'll add this - some of HGTB appeals to me because I have always loved to see the inside of others' homes. At night while driving by, I look through windows - yeah, I'm a peekin' fool.

Gaelen, a lot of the shows are in the Toronto area. Beautiful! About the Fuji - I was standing about 8 feet away and the hummer certainly entertained me for at least a minute, sampling the hibiscus flower. I keep the camera in Macro (not Super Macro) mode and sometimes press the digital zoom button if the subject is still. I learned to use the Macro feature when the subject is at least 3 feet away up to 15 feet, maybe. It depends. Keep working it!

Thanks,
Mary

Julie Zickefoose said...

If I had a tree frog yelling from my gutter I would poop my pants. But I wouldn't be able to hear it because the TV is always on real loud and I am glued to it. I think I'm going to start blogging about my favorite sitcoms, complete with screen shots.

not...

This post is priceless. I love how you turn everything upside down and dump it out and look at it, and in doing that, make us see ourselves.

A New England Life said...

Little sticky is wise beyond his ... species ; )

I like his sunset profile photo. He's one handsome toad!

You take the best Hummingbird photos Mary! Wonder if I'll ever have the patience for them myself. I get bored waiting. Hee hee . . .

I almost forgot! So glad you still aren't smoking!!! Way to go girl!

merrilymarylee said...

I've been weaning myself off HGTV. I like the shows with Sarah Richardson too, although it's sheer luck when I find them. Love Curb Appeal, especially the ones on the East Coast. Oh. . . and House Hunters International. What fun to see condos in Paris, cave houses in Italy. . . !

And yes, I'm with you. Anyone who can't see beyond a countertop. . . YIKES!