Gina and Mr. Biggins came to visit this afternoon so I put Gina in charge. I shoved the camera into her hands and said, "Shoot away, but don't use a flash, zoom in from chest up, let's find a nice background in natural light, and I'm not wearing my eyeglasses." Well, this fueled her fire, for sure, and she started laughing before we got started. I had practiced some smiles with teeth, without teeth, with glasses, and without glasses. Damn! Twenty years ago, I was so photogenic...now, when I smile widely, my cheeks push my eyes closed.
Before we started, I said, "Oh, let me fix my hair and get some lipstick." There were 40 mph winds outside today and I still look electrocuted.
First few pictures were a NO GO (lots of laughter) and I had an idea, "Gina, let me hold Bella under my chin to hide the extra one."
Gina, pleading, "Will you please just smile and stop rolling your eyes and making those faces?" (Gee, I was only trying to show my best side...)
SNAP.
Gina said, "Awww, it's blurred."
I said, "That's good! Wrinkles won't show! Did it hide my extra chin?"
Bella's nervous and thinks it's time for ear drops.
We are bent over laughing at this point. Barely able to get the words out, Gina asked, "Do you have any duct tape to pull things up behind your ears?"
I was in side-splitting pain...tears running. Instead of using duct tape, I used my hands.
I said, "Oh, yea, I think I have some 1/2 inch transparent tape. I can raise them. By the way, Gina, they're hereditary."
Windblown and disgusted. I'm just not 30 anymore. Spent way too many years in the sun, at the pool, baking my skin, and squinting. I give in to my age but I'm not giving up on trying to get the best photo. We had the best time this afternoon.
A thought: "I wonder if there's a Glamour Photos in Charlotte?"
9 comments:
You look superb and had fun taking the pics! It does not get any better than that! -- Lizard
Ok, I said I needed a laugh...thank you! Good thing I don't blog...I would have to load the pics horizontal and then blogger would zap them out! So don't worry about one chin or even two...someone else you know has four! I can't breed a Boston Terrier big enough to hide mine!
Jane, if you don't create your own blog, you at least need to step up and write a column, Erma B. style. You are funnier than all get out!
I like your style, Mary!
Thanks for making me laugh tonight. Not at your pics, of course, but at the fun you had taking them.
I think I like the middle one the best, you look very hopeful and like you're cooking up some crafty plan.
I love the pics!!!
You have the best shade of blond, hands down!!!! makes your eyes look really blue, what double chin????
I won't be using Daisy to hide my neck yet (in due time), but she does come in handy for hiding the muffin top exploding from my waistline when she sits on my lap.
Great photos! I think you look fantastic. And what double chin!!?! :-)
OK Mary... I know it's odd to get a comment on a post from November, but I had to come look at your very pretty face, and instead I was laughing until tears were running down my cheeks!!!!!!!! You are toooooo funny girl! I love that you can embrace your "maturity" with such laughter and grace. They aren't lines of age, but rather of character and a life well lived! Thanks for making my day!
Still cruising through your history - and I was wondering what you looked like! Thanks for posting these GREAT photos and for the hilarious recounting of the process. I do this with my daughter, too, who is a terrific photographer. We have about 100 pics of me in a new outfit, trying desperately to find a way to look skinny...I finally gave up. Thank you, God, for the miracle of technology that allows us to DELETE!
You are a beautiful, joy-filled woman!
Mary, I also think that you are a beautiful, joy-filled woman! Love the colour of your skin, your beautiful blue eyes and your hair!
And I laugh a lot with your hilarious recounting of the picture's process. Believe me, I did the same when I post my photo with Flora. My husband took more than 20 photos! And I did not like no one! It was hilarious. Flora looks great and I don't! LOL! Take a look:
http://leavesgrass.blogspot.com/2006/08/friend.html
A big hug to you!
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