The Guestbook

I’ve been home for a few hours after a six-hour shopping trip and haven’t unloaded the stuff from the back of the car. It’s just too much for me right now.

Since January, Gina and I have spent approximately sixty hours on the road in search of what we think we need for a wedding celebration.

We are less than three weeks away and it’s an exciting time. It’s also making me flip. My nerves are dying.

Recently I attended a bridal shower at her office. I hadn’t been in a high-rise for a few decades and oh, my. “Gawwwleeeeee. Gina, I SEE MY CAR DOWN THERE!”

In the middle of the night, I wake and think of details. My alarm clock wakes me and I immediately think of details. Hundreds of them.

And I tell myself, “Go outdoors and just breathe.”

It’s crunch time. Regular folks like us aren't accustomed to throwing the largest party of our lives. We need to work feverishly now and I do believe I hallucinated at the mall today, after hour number five.

“Gina, where did we park the car? It is not funny. Where’s the car?

Oh my God, I can’t… find… the CAR!

A clean pond. Breathe.

Just lovely. Breathe. Relax.

(Mental picture for readers: At the shopping mall my hair had dried in crunchy curls from sweat during a two-hour Zumbathon the night before, all enhanced with blood-shot eyes.)

“Oh Lord. That’s the mens’ room. Oops. (laughed out loud).

Where am I?

Where are WE?”

Ensuing laughter, but honestly, I’m at the end of this, already. I’m so spent, financially and emotionally, yet the best is yet to come. The payoff. Please let it be worth all of this.

Find the first lizard of the year. Breathe.

That girl can shop for days with little food and a few pee breaks. After four hours, I’m brain dead. I hate shopping now and after the wedding, I don’t plan to visit a shopping mall until next Christmas.

“Gina, I need to eat something. To hell with the diet. Let’s stop for a slice of pizza.

Do you know I tripped and almost fell into that display of crystal over there? Stop laughing. It isn't funny...

(crazy laughter)

You go into J Crew. Just go. I’ll lean against the railing here and wait. Don’t make me wait too long, either, dammit.

Don’t you DARE lead me to Abercrombie."

I’d rather die than to inhale toxic fumes. (She doesn't venture into that awful store anymore and for no apparent reason, my nasty streak reared its ugly head.) "I HATE THAT STORE. IT STINKS."

While watching the Bumbles, breathe.

“Please! I can’t look at another shoe! Let’s go. Now.”

We’ve visited two different craft stores at least twenty times. Yes, we (I) made a few little things and I have fallen in love with a little glue gun. I never used a glue gun until last week and let me tell you, when I had that mini hot glue gun in my hand, I had the POWER!

Today, what remained on our list of things to purchase was a Wedding Guest Book. We visited a “party store” where you can find anything you’ll ever want or need to throw a party. It’s a store filled with two trillion tiny items.

Ah ha! Guest books! Pens!

I said, “Oh, what the heck. It’s a guest book with some silver on the vinyl cover. The pen? It might not have ink, but for less than $15.00, it isn't bad.”

Without much thought or another glance, she threw it behind her into the buggy. Good shot.

Tired.

Let’s check that off the list. Yeah!

A few hours later, we stumbled upon a very beautiful guest book with a very nice pen that we are certain is full of ink. She had it engraved and it belongs to her now.

On the mall parking lot we laughed until we cried at that flimsy guest book from the party store, suitable for one of those funny redneck weddings you see in e-mail forwards. I’m glad we decided to care.

Rest by the pond and breathe.

Wedding gown fittings, Mom’s fitting, menu and cake tastings, hair trials… all lead to a day we will always hold close to our hearts.

A union.

However.

Both Mom and Bride are wishing for the end before it’s time.

I'm breathing and laughing with Mockingbirds. My saving grace.

Hello Black Rat Snake

I greet the Robin and say hello to the Bluebird who arrives regularly for nothing. He's staring at an empty food dish. I feel badly about that. If I had time to snob feed, I would park myself outside and guard the suet and worms for a while every day. For now, and for good reasons, I’m only feeding my backyard birds once or twice a week.

On the weekends, I dance around the yard with camera close by and feel high as a kite on color, blooms, and the most unnoticed living things. I’ll elaborate soon on the three-year drought that has ended.

My wildflower patches are sweet on the northwestern side.

One small flower. So pretty. Some might consider mowing it…

An old acquaintance put an abrupt halt to my tour.

Well, hello again, Black Rat Snake.

Hmmm. I’ll move myself way down here so you don’t get snarky. See? I’m no threat…

We have several species of snakes on our small property. Black Rat Snakes live here and are the ones I see most often. They reside close to the house (probably under it) and make regular appearances from spring to late fall. I don’t mind them as long as I don’t see them take care of chipmunks and other rodents. They’ll take a lizard, too. Oh, dear.

Listen up, Lizzie. Danger awaits ten feet south. Move it! Yes, I’m talking to YOU!

Hundreds of lizards, Eastern Fence Lizards being the most common, scamper across my path every day. If I can try to save a small lizard’s life, I will.

Snake had enough of me and slithered away, finding cover. I’ve never annoyed a snake enough to make them strike. Never will, I hope. If I do, I'll put it on the blog :o)

This one is about five or six feet in length. Good size. And, it's mating season! Oh, boy. Those hatchlings grow fast and appear at my front door - stupid little snakes. I’ll meet them late summer when they’re small and cute.

Black Rat Snake left me so I jogged around the corner and alerted another,

You are way too relaxed, Lizzie. Have a sense of urgency, will ya?

Yes, I said that. I talk to lizards out loud. And snakes.

It’s Okay…

I’m Okay…

About Lizards

Here he is - the first Ruby-throated Hummingbird I saw this year. He stopped by on the evening of April 9th and took his time sampling the nectar in two feeders before exiting around the corner to the front of the house. You bet I ran through the house, swept up my camera, and burst onto the front porch to watch the little guy! I found him resting in a tree clear across the street, in low light. Damn. The one photograph I took was downright horrible but I liked something about it. I played with it a little and turned it into a painting. Ain’t he sweet?

Now, to the lizards.

On a warm winter day, one or two might come out of hiding and rest in the southwestern sun.

Their brief visits lift my spirits and warm me up.

Last weekend we had early summer-like temps. Lizards were out and about, darting to and fro, and scampering over your toes if you let them.

So I decided to have some lizard time. Away with the dogs! Inside they went…

Photo-shoots with lizards are slow and gratifying. Peaceful.

I don’t know much about lizards, but I do believe they become accustomed to having a paparazzo follow them.

How do you get a lizard’s attention?

I wanted eye contact.

Whistle?

Clap your hands or snap your fingers?

Or mumble HEY YOU?

That works!

Yes, you rock, handsome dude.

Go ahead and raise your eyebrows. I enjoy my one-sided relationships with little creatures, snakes included. They choose to live near me. Isn’t that an honor and something to smile about?

Hey, bunny! Are you gonna clean up those pellets?

Yeah, I’m talkin’ to you.

Holy crap. Did someone already take a bite out of your ear?

BOO!

Happy Easter!

It's Time for February Eye Candy

For me, February is the most boring month of the year. I browsed through a thousand photos of spring and summer delights and struggled to choose only a few.

They energized me!

Let me share my energy with you today.

We’ve all had enough shades of brown, gray, and winter white. Cabin fever has taken a toll on our psyches, yes? I need color.

If I had pretty snow scenes I’d show them,

but look here.

In almost seven weeks,

I’ll be making nectar and waiting

for their homecoming.

Stop looking out the window at snow-plowed roads and gray slush for a few minutes.

Remember the inevitable growing season!

We’ll be rescuing baby Mockingbirds and

keeping a list of butterflies that will grace our garden flowers.

If you’re so inclined, you’ll sit and chat with a lizard like I do.

We'll always have our camera ready because

a surprise is waiting around every corner, one thousand times a day,

during my favorite months of the year.

I can hardly wait!

I hope you enjoyed my February eye candy.

The snow will melt.

A lovely, fragrant spring will emerge, followed by

a freakin’ hot, buggy, muggy, fry-an-egg-on-your scalp summer. :o)

Now, don't you feel better? I do.

More Backyard Bird Drama

She threw me off guard when I saw her out of the corner of my eye. I was hanging freshly cleaned bird feeders. What are you doing here, Ms. Lizard?

I came out of the shade to grab a spot of sun. Just sitting here, resting on a thorn.

Outside of constant chatter about my crowd of hummingbirds, it’s been a long time since I talked about my backyard birds.

I certainly do have birds at my house. I found some Brown Headed Nuthatches elsewhere. They’re usually oblivious when I’m near and they photograph quite well. Not this time… Will you turn around?

That’s better.

Dozens of birds visit my feeders regularly, even when the feeders are empty. It’s been a challenging spring and summer for someone who doesn’t get out of her backyard often enough. I’ve closed the feeders for weeks at a time that started with the arrival of Grackles and Pigeons. I offered safflower seeds for a while. Then a flock of two dozen hell-raising juvenile Starlings arrived who screamed all…day…long for over a week. I had no choice but to close down the feeders as they were disturbing the peace.

Add twenty-plus of these to the mix of Starlings, Grackles, Pigeons, and Mourning Doves. I knew it would happen when two pairs arrived last winter. House Sparrows rule now. Sweet birds are the minority. That’s no joke.






I still have a few Cardinals, House and Gold Finches. My variety has dwindled compared to this time last year. Sigh... Sometimes I think I'm losing interest.

I just don’t know what to do about the House Sparrows. I see them in swarms and listen to their fighting in the evergreen bushes that line the north side of my house. I’ve noticed them bullying nice birds like Carolina Wrens for safflower or nuts. And, and I’m very concerned about the Mockingbirds I haven’t seen in two weeks.

Backyard birding has been a disappointing affair but I smile whenever I can and talk to the birds I enjoy,

Don’t be shy…I can see you even if you can't see me.

Thank you.

Hold that pose while I zoom a little closer. My Fuji allows me to zoom from afar with no need to sneak up on or stalk the birds for a clearer shot. It’s a nice change. I'm still all thumbs, need to practice with birds more often, and learn the camera! It's been very cloudy and we received another four inches of rain yesterday!

That’s better. Thank you. I know when I hear the happy Chickadee-dee-dee song, sweet birds will rule for a few minutes ;-)

Shall I count on the skills of a Cooper’s Hawk for some crowd control? They’ve returned after being away for a few months. Instead of seeing them perched in their observation tower, high in a pine tree, they fly low over the House Sparrows’ bushes. It’s breathtaking to watch them soar so close to my house with amazing speed!

After publishing, Whoa! No need for a magnifying glass to see these photos! I think I'll try another format next time ;-)