Friday, June 27, 2008

I'll Miss You, Sister

We're never prepared to lose a loved one. Especially in an instant.
My brother's wife died in an automobile accident last night in Maryland. She was alone. Perhaps she was sleepy.
My Sister-in-Law.
First, shock.
Then, grief.
This is what I do when grief strikes me. I write.
Still processing.
Kris is the wife of my only sibling, Victor, since 1983
and the Mother of five good children, ages eight to twenty-four
- late Andrew, little Joey, Annie, Jordan, and Victor, Jr.,
daughter of Irene and Guy,
a friend to everyone,
and a best friend of my late Mom and my Dad.
Kris is also a joyous, new grandmother-to-be.
I can't stop thinking about my brother and his kids, but I also mourn for Irene and Guy and other parents who lose their children. It is not natural. It is not right.
Kris called my daughter last night and they chatted for the first time in a few months - just a few hours before her death.
She is a spiritual, funny, and giving person who sometimes loved and cared too much.
DSC00724
Kris, 1958 - 2008
Kris, we've lived through highs and lows together for a long time. We understood. I know you know I've always loved ya like a sister.
Let Jesus wrap his arms around you.
Hug Mom for me?

75 comments:

Cindie U. said...

Mary,

I am so very sorry for your loss. May your happy memories comfort you during this difficult time.

Sincerely,
Cindie Ulreich

Lisa at Greenbow said...

Oh Mary, how awful. I am so sorry to hear this. You, your brother and his children will all be in my thoughts and prayers. You all have my deepest sympathy.

BJ said...

Oh Mary...my heart aches for your family so much! I am so sorry to hear about your SIL! Please know that you all are in my thoughts and prayers. Heaven must have needed an angel. God bless!

You are so brave to have written this lovely tribute to her....she is so beautiful.....

egretsnest said...

My thoughts are with you and your entire family. I'm so sorry.

Jayne said...

(((((Mary))))) I am so sorry for your family's loss of Kris. May the peace and warmth of the Lord surround you, your brother, and everyone during the coming days.

Beth said...

Oh Mary, I'm so sorry.

Ruth said...

What a tragedy for the entire family. My heart goes out to all of you and especially the children. She was so young and a sudden loss is so hard.

Susie said...

Dear Mary,
My sincere sympathy on the tragic loss of your sister in law. She is a beautiful lady. My heart breaks for her husband and children (as well as all her other loved ones)
This is a lovely tribute to her memory.
xo

Red said...

(((((Mary & Family)))))
I'm so sorry that happened. It's so tragic. Those poor young ones won't have enough memories of their mom.
I pray all will be comforted and cared for in this sad time.

NatureWoman said...

OMG Mary I am *so* sorry for you and your family. So very sorry. {{{hugs}}}

NCmountainwoman said...

Oh, Mary. My heart is so heavy for you and the family. I will be praying for all of you during this very difficult time.

You will be much on our minds in the coming days. We love you.

KGMom said...

Oh Mary--so so sorry--but words cannot begin to express my sadness for you. What an awful thing for your brother, their children, for you and your daughter.
You will have a difficult road to walk the next several months--and I will be holding you in my prayerful thoughts.

Q said...

Dear Mary,
I am here for you and yours. I send love and light. I send clarity of thought as you travel to be near your brither and his children.
I send my compassion.
I send my love.
The angels are crying.
I shall hum a song for you, a song to fill your sad heart.
I hold you near.
Namaste,
Sherry

JeanMac said...

Oh, Mary, I'm so sorry for everyone.Hug. J

beckie said...

Mary, I've tried to write this comment 3 times now. Each time I tried to offer you words that would help you through this. There just aren't any. No one can take away your pain and suffering. We would if we could. All we can do is offer our love, support, and prayers. I hope you can find some comfort in that. Please know that I am thinking of you and your family and will say a prayer for all of you.

Wendy said...

Oh Mary, I am so very sorry to hear about Kris's untimely end. How terribly sad. In just an instant everything changes. A dear life is snuffed out. Tragic!
I don't know what's going on, but my daughter called to tell me the same thing happened to one of her friends. Killed instantly in a motorcycle accident. She was 34. Her husband is still in ICU - critical condition. How sad for everybody.
Sending you lots of hugs and prayers at this difficult time.
Yes, keep on blogging, it helps to process (your own words). And we're here for you.

Annie in Austin said...

No good words; lots of thoughts. I'm so sorry this happened, Mary, and hope your family can get through the terrible loss of someone who should be celebrating a silver anniversary and a new grandchild.

Annie at the Transplantable Rose

joy said...

My condolences go out to you and your entire family, Mary.

Susan Gets Native said...

Mary, I am so sorry. My heart is aching for you and your family.

Love and hugs.

RuthieJ said...

Oh Mare, I'm so sorry!

LauraHinNJ said...

I'm so sorry to hear this, Mary. Prayers for your family.

Robin's Nesting Place said...

Mary,please know that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. I'm so very sorry about this very tragic loss.

Mary C said...

Mary, you and your family are in my prayers. I'm so sorry hear such tragic news. May the Lord give all of you strength and hope in the days to come.

Debbie said...

Oh, Mary, I am so terribly sorry for your loss.

I will pray for you, your brother and the children. May God grand you all the peace that passes all understanding.

With sincere condolenses,
Debbie

Pete said...

sorry (((((Mary)))).

Terri Kleinsmith said...

Mary,
I am Terri, I used to work with Michael at Primo Electric. I was stunned when I read your blog this morning. I didn't know Kris was your sister-in-law. I grew up with Kris, she lived 2 doors down from me and I went to St. Mary's with her brother Brian. Kris and I used to babysit together. Although I haven't seen her in quite a few years I was still shocked and saddened when I heard about the accident. She is one of the sweetest people I've ever known and I cannot believe she is gone. My heart goes out to you and your brother and the children. All of you are in my prayers along with the Zimmerman family. I'm so sorry, Mary.

Mary said...

Hi Terri,

Thanks for your nice thoughts. I'll remember you when we head to Maryland soon and let Brian, Irene, and Guy know I heard from you. I'll tell Michael, too.

Sometimes the world seems so small.

Hugs,
Mary

Ramblings of a Villas Girl said...

Oh Mary I am so so sorry for your loss. I don't know what to say.

If you have the chance, please stop by my blog. I have something there for you. I feel like a heel for asking you to do this under the circumstances, but maybe this will bring a smile. I feel that you are very deserving. Take care of yourself. Lisa

gretchen said...

Mary, I am sitting here in front of the computer screen trying to find the right words but nothing seems enough... please know that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers and that I am so sorry for your loss; extra big hugs to you, gretchen

Rose said...

Mary, I am so sorry for your loss. The right words never seem to come in a time like this, but know that all of us are thinking and praying for you and your family during this difficult time.

Mary said...

Thanks for your prayers. We are still waiting to hear the medical examiner's autopsy report...no arrangements yet. I hope to be heading north very soon.

Cheryl said...

Dear Mary......how fragile we all are.... my thoughts and prayers will be with you and your family tonight....
With sincerity.....

Iris said...

Hang in there, Mary, and know we're all out here in blogland thinking good thoughts for you and your entire family.

Dorothy said...

Dear Mary,
((((((((((((((Hugs))))))))))))))) and prayers to you and your family!
I am keeping you all close in thought and prayer. Kris' beautify shines through in her picture, and I'm sure it is still shining through from above. Bless your heart and drive safely to Maryland.

Kerri said...

Oh Mary, I am so sorry! You and your family are in my thoughts are prayers!

Angie said...

Oh Dear God, Mary, I am so very sorry! What a tragedy!! My heart goes out to all of you. I'll be thinking of all of you, and I pray that you can find some comfort from the paralyzing pain and grief. Sending quilted hugs to wrap you and yours in. "Always blessings....never losses"

Carol said...

Mary, there are no words, but I wish you safe travels as you return to Maryland. Your sister in law sounds like a wonderful daughter, wife, sister, and friend.

Carol, May Dreams Gardens

nina said...

Mary, so sorry to hear your news.
And, I'm sure you're TILL processing it--a shock to be sure.
May you find comfort in your happy memories and time spent with family.
Sending all good thought your way.

nina said...

oops--STILL

Peg Silloway said...

So sad to hear about your sister-in-law, Mary. She sounds like a truly wonderful person, and your loving words about her confirm that she touched your life with much happiness. You and your family are in my thoughts - and so many others' as well.

Cheryl said...

Dear Mary....when I read your post last night I was speechless....you were on my mind first thing this morning.
The house is quiet and words came to mind that I read many years ago.
I have struggled to remember them and I don't think that are absolutely correct but I thought I would do my best to leave you with them.
When time allows your pain to soften and the memories bring smiles not tears I hope they comfort you.

Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am diamond glints on snow.
If you hear the sounds of birds in flight
and see the stars shine bright at night
Do not stand at my grave and cry
I am not there I did not die...

Take care memory, may the young family left behind weep and heal their little souls and the memory of their dear mother stay in their hearts.

MmeBenaut said...

Mary, this is my first visit to your blog and to find such a traumatic event and story is just so sad. Sincere condolences to your brother and extended family.

Wren said...

I am so sorry for your loss. You will be in all our thoughts.

T.R. said...

Dear Mary,

I am so sorry to hear about your family's loss. Life is bold and beautiful and then in an instant like this we are reminded too how fragile. It can all be gone in a sleepy second. Your tribute is so touching and beautiful. You've got some tough days ahead -- I can only imagine what beauty and grace you will bring to your loved ones during this time.

You and your family are in my deepest prayers and sympathies.

TR

Sherry said...

Mary, I am so sorry to hear this. I will keep you and your family in my prayers.

Sherry at the Zoo said...

Such a sad, sad tragedy for your whole family. My heart aches for her children especially.

Each ordinary day is a precious gift.

HUGS,
Sherry (the zoo one)

mon@rch said...

Mary, I am soo sorry to hear about your Sister-in law! So quickly and unexpected . . . {{{hug}}}!

Bill said...

After just talking to Beth B about her near connection with you I decided to come check out the latest. So so sorry for your loss, Mary. I looked and loked at her picture in which I can see such kindness. pat and I will be praying for you in these days.

Lynne said...

Sweet Mary-
I understand and share your sorrow. I'm so sorry. You, your brother and your family are in my prayers tonight.

Kathiesbirds said...

Mary, I am so-o-o-o sorry! How tragic. She looks so beautiful in that photo. What a shock. I am crying for you and your family right now. As a survivor of 3 car accidents I send my love and prayers to you through these words and computer lines. Please keep writing and pour your sorrow out like wine upon these pages where we will wrap you in love from around the globe.

nikkipolani said...

Mary, I saw this photo on your flickr and wondered who this woman with the beautiful smile was. I'm so very sorry that she is gone from your lives.

Sandpiper (Lin) said...

Oh, Mary, that's so sad. I'm sorry for your loss. I'll keep you and your family in my prayers. ((Hugs))
Lin

Donna said...

Mary, I'm so sorry. How tragic.
My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Hugs,
Donna

possumlady said...

Mary, just back from a quick trip to Seattle to read this awful news. I'm so sorry for your loss. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

Mel said...

Mary,

I'm connecting after a while and I find sad news.
I send my prayers and love for all the family, specially your brother and kids, and Kris parents.
To you, the biggest hug possible.

Esta noche rezaré por todos ustedes, un beso enorme,

Mel

Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry Mary. Your family will be in my prayers.

Angie (SC)

Eco Enthusiast said...

I am sorry for your loss. Your sister-in-law sounds like a wonderful person.

Trixie said...

Oh, Mary. Oh, Mary. I am so so sorry for this loss to your family. I will hold you and your whole family in my prayers.

brucesc said...

All sympathies and condolences, Mary. Your tribute is beautiful.

Owlman said...

Wonderfully honest tribute to someone you clearly loved. At times like these we realize how fragile the mircale of life really is.

dguzman said...

Oh Mary, my condolences to your brother and to you.

Alyssa said...

Mary,

What a sad, sad time for you and all of your family. My heart goes out to your brother and his children. You will all be in my thoughts and I send out lovingkindness in hopes it may help a little. Your faith will help you through this awful time.

maddie said...

Mary,

I am so sorry to hear this. You, your brother and his children are in my thoughts and prayers.

Laurie said...

Oh Mary, I am so so so sorry for your loss and so so so sorry I didn't read this until today.

I wish there was something I could do for you...to help you ease the pain of her passing, but I know there isn't.

Just know that you are loved.

Roy Norris said...

Mary,

My sincere condolences. Such a beautiful Lady.

Mary said...

Mary I am so sorry for your loss My condolences to all your family I shall remember you all in my thoughts Mary

cjs said...

I'm SO sorry for your loss Mary.

Corey

Naturegirl said...

Mary my sincerest condolences to you and to your brother and family for your tremendous loss! I will hold you all in my prayers.a gentle hug ..NG

Rurality said...

I'm so sad to read this. Sorry for your loss. Sending you hugs.

Island Rambles Blog said...

Oh Mary, I am so sorry to read this news and my heart goes out to you and your family. The post you did was beautifully done...take care.

Alan said...

Hi Mary,

So sorry to here of your loss. My prayers are with you and your family. Hope your back blogging soon!

Your friend,
Alan

The Broken Man said...

That's such a lovely tribute. She must have been a lovely person.

The Broken Man

http://theblogofabrokenman.blogspot.com/

Susan said...

Mary, I'm so sorry to read about your sister-in-law. I will keep your family in my prayers.

Larry said...

That's so very sad. I'm sorry for your loss Mary.

Kathie said...

Oh Mary, I am so very, very sorry. Crying for you and your brother and his children tonight....