I’m annoyed right now. I expect Chloe to outlive her life expectancy because I love and care for her so well.
Already deaf and almost blind, the gal often appears confused.
Bella, only six years old, needs a playmate and I’m happy to fill in but I don't run nearly as fast as Chloe used to...
Generous at heart, she'll offer me all of her 237 toys in one evening.
Chloe’s shrinking, losing muscle mass fast, drinking lots of water, and emptying her bladder on the rugs. Her kidneys are failing and there’s nothing we can do except to change her diet and unfortunately, she’s a picky eater.
I don’t know what lies ahead because I’m dwelling on the now. I won’t even Google it. Maybe later.
She’ll be fourteen in June. We’ll have a nice party this year! If Chloe were to choose her birthday cake, it would be Cheezecake sprinkled with bacon bits. I think I can whip up something she'd like. And we'll all wear birthday hats.
Old gal stills gets around nicely with bouncy steps. Lately, though, I’ve seen some scarecrow action in her legs and I really can’t remember the last time I saw her run. Might have been a year ago. I miss that…
Then, I wonder if she will ever stop digging? Often chilled, we can hear her teeth chatter in the next room, like a woodpecker on vinyl siding. Hence, she earned another nickname, “Woody”. I wish she could hear us laugh at her.
And there are days when I want to clunk her on the head, feeling sick and tired of the teeth chattering and whining and the constant following and sitting at my feet. Leave me alone, girl.
Me, on my hands and knees sopping up pee-soaked rugs at 5:15 a.m. and again at 4:30 p.m..
…how ‘bout if I clunk you on the head, Chloe? Maybe you’ll see and hear again if I clunk you hard enough. And stop peeing on the rugs! Dammit.
Damn my impatience and selfishness.
The thought of losing Chloe makes my mind and body ill but the thought of Bella being lonely hurts even more. I watch them bond, still, after six years together.
Bella, who has been happy serving in a lower hierarchy, has stepped up to be the alert dog while still maintaining her peasant status.
This is why I worry for her.
No matter how we lose Chloe, I will need to allow Bella to say good-bye. That one, special, horrible, inevitable day haunts me. I don’t think I can live through taking Chloe for her last ride in the car. Sure, I realize dogs don't grasp the meaning of “good-bye”, but I would definitely want to give Bella the opportunity to sniff 'n kiss her Licker Sister for the last time.
So, for now, I’m planning a birthday party in June with birthday hats, ice cream, cheesey cupcakes, and candles,
Daddy’s making somethin' in the kitchen,
and we’ll get crazy and wiggle tonight!