Tuesday, October 02, 2007

I'd rather say "see ya later".

There is something about saying Good-bye that’s way too final. Parting, either temporarily or for forever, weighs heavily on my heart and emotions. It’s easier for me to say “see ya later” with a weak smile than to have my eyes brim with tears and my throat tighten so hard I need to choke out a “good-bye”.


The only neighbors we know well moved away a few days ago. That’s Maureen in the photo after giving the movers directions to their new house. We moved next door to them two years ago and became friends to Maureen, Dan, and their four terrific children. A few weeks at a time would pass without seeing them but when we did see each other again we easily picked up where we left off. Their kids are grown now so it’s time for them to downsize.


Chloe and Bella watched the noisy truck pull away while I stood on the front porch with them, feeling sad and a bit lonely already. I look at that empty house and sigh.

They moved thirty minutes northwest of us so we’ll see them soon. When Maureen came by on Saturday night to pick up her frozen foods from our freezer, we hugged and laughed. It was slightly bittersweet and in unison we said, “See ya later!” Yeah. No good-byes.


Unlike me, Maureen has a green thumb so she planted this for me on the day she left and I promised to try to keep it alive.

Each time I have moved on to another job, another house, or another state, I dreaded leaving friends and family. When my only child was far away at college, those tearful “see ya laters” at the airport security gate or at the edge of the driveway as she drove away scarred my heart. When it was time for her to pack up to leave for school after being with us on break, the agony would start - the same agony I felt when I would get ready to leave her at college to head back home. On a few occasions she agonized also, already missing me before I left – those were the worst farewells and warranted a good cry until I hit I-95. It’s damned hard and no one understands until you experience it.


This is one of my first hummingbird photos, taken in April. I was so excited with it! Where did the time go? The last two started their journey yesterday. They left quietly without notice, the same way I left a job once – out the back door because I couldn’t bear another round of farewell wishes. I didn’t mean to be rude…


Godspeed to you, lovely. Please don’t forget me?

Now that I’ve made it clear that I’m a sensitive, sappy soul tonight and my hormones need adjusting, I’ll try to kick it up a notch!

I was too curious about the female crouched low, ruffling her feathers, and loudly begging or demanding a morsel of food. I think he was annoyed with the woman.


Afraid of scaring them away, I kept my distance while he fed her repeatedly. It would have been great to be close enough to get good photos of this little affair but I don’t know if it was love or harassment.


There are too many LBJs out there now. Cowbirds were here during the winter months and I haven’t seen one since. Could be a Cowbird. Oh, well.


Juveniles haven’t learned much about self preservation yet. I was too close to this one.

This will be an exciting fall and winter, I think. My feeders were new last winter and the number of birds who visit since then has steadily grown into constant flurries of activity.


The Carolina Chickadees are still frustrating and taunting… I call them "DCs" because they drive me plain freaking nuts. There are so many now! The cooler temps might be making the difference as I’m seeing more woodpeckers and nuthatches and less PIGEONS.


Ever present. The Coop thinks he’s hidden. Not!

Note: If you have not heard from me lately, it’s because I’m drowning at work but it won’t last long. I come home in the evenings with dragging feet. Bear with me?


Lynne at Hasty Brook said...

I've been really emotional lately too. I think it might be the season- it's such a change from summer and hint of the winter to come. I hope things settle down for you at work. Fall can be so refreshing too!

Julie Zickefoose said...

I'm so sorry you're losing a beloved neighbor, Mary. Glad she won't be so far away.

All emotional here too and ...wait! what's that sound?

Eeee! Eee! Eee!

That's a juvenile male cardinal being fed by his father

You've just been chimped! Hope you got a smile out of it.

RuthieJ said...

Hi Mare,
Too many tears shed today at my house also, but I hope things will get better for you soon.

And getting "chimped" should certainly bring a smile to your face (it did for me just reading JZ's comment).


Carol Michel said...

My mom's neighbors, who lived next door to us for 46 years, forever, moved away last week, to a retirment home at the other end of town. Yes, we say "see ya later", as "good-bye" seems too final. Fall is a "good bye" time it seems.

Carol at May Dreams Gardens

Mary said...

Well, I'll be! I've been chimped up again and I love it. I learn. One of these days, this novice will be chimping her head off...hopefully with the same charisma that dear Julie has. LOL!

Anonymous said...

Sorry to hear about your neighbors leaving! And love the picture of your puppy looking out the window!

nina at Nature Remains. said...

Our hummers are still here. So, I keep feeding them--and hope they fluff up for these cool night we're having.
Sad to think of friends moving. We've lost track of many over the years--it's nice to fall back into a comfortable chat, even after time. That's the mark of a true friendship--it endures separation.

KGMom said...

As Shakespeare, who knew a great deal about human nature, observed--parting is such sweet sorrow.
Goodbyes are hard.
We have lived in our neighborhood now for almost 30 years, and have seen neighbors come and go. Some are good & greatly missed when they leave, others are -- nyah--who cares when they go.

Susan Gets Native said...

Jeez...are we all hormonal or what? I feel the Seasonal Blues a bit.
Love the bling on the dog collars.
The Chimp beat me to the "eee eee eee". Look at all the new red feathers and that will tell you. And the fact that nesting season is over, so the love that was in the air will be on ice until next spring.

Susie said...

I like your "see you later" rather than goodbye. Lovely photos as always..

Unknown said...

Ah Mary I know the feeling. Everytime Don and I had to move and when my oldest son went off to college and finally moved to Maryland and now Delaware. I cried my eyes out.

Hmmm must be teh season for chickadees, nuthatches, and downy woodpeckers cuz i have had a lot also.

JeanMac said...

Touching post,Mary. You have a way with words and cameras.

Jayne said...

We're moving my sister this weekend, and it will be so good to have her here, but they've had to say their "see ya laters" for several weeks now. It's never easy, but at least they are still close enough to keep in touch.

Add me to the "emotional list" too... Anyone have some sorts for sale? I've been out of them all this week.

Hugs to you Mary.

sonia a. mascaro said...

It's really sad losing a neighbor friend. But thirty minutes northwest is near you, isn't?

Love as always the pictures of Chloe and Bella! They are really adorable!

Last but not least, thank you so much for your nice words on my blog anniversary. Is my pleasure getting to know you, too!

Peg Silloway said...

It's good to know that blue feeling seems to be covering the country! Being emotional - about people and animals - is one of the things that sets us apart, though. Can you imagine existing with no highs and lows? No screech of the Chimp? No feeling of awe at the beauty of a hovering hummingbird? Wouldn't want that kind of life.

I'm grateful for your amazing photography, and believe you could not see and record those images if you didn't have the rich reservoir of emotion that also makes it hard to say "Later."

Q said...

Dear Mary,
Change, it brings on the blues.
Your care and love of life comes through every photo and every post. It is the glad, sad or mad that puts the icing on the cup cake! You also add the sprinkles! Your cup cakes are extra yummy and so very pretty!
Cooper is regal! I so love this photo of him! Wow!
"See you later alligator."
"Afterwhile crocodile."
I am on my knees for autumn rain for you...

Anonymous said...

Oh Mary, I know how you feel about those blasted hormones. But losing a good neighbor is cry-worthy. Glad they aren't moving too far away.

I love all the close pictures of the birds. And your swirly glass feeder is gorgeous.

kate said...

Where did the time go? I remember those early pictures of the hummingbirds and your cool feeder.

Saying goodbye is always hard ... I like 'see ya later' much better. Losing good neighbours leaves a hole hopefully to be replaced by new people who you can also enjoy. Thankfully, your old neighbours are nearby.

I hope work slows down soon for you ... it really should, along with the cooler evening temperatures.

~Red Tin Heart~ said...

I love the picture of the Cardinals. So beautiful! I am sorry your neighbors are moving. I hate change. Especially when people I love move. xoxo Nita

NatureWoman said...

I'm sorry about your neighbors leaving, Mary. Saying "see ya later" is much easier for me, too. So much less permanent! The one cool thing about moving around is you have friends all over the place to visit.
I love seeing the cardinal feeding his son!

dguzman said...

I was wondering if perhaps that might be a juvie cardinal being fed, as I didn't think feeding was a "romance" thing. Or maybe I've spent too much time on the Science Chimp's blog...

Goodbyes are always difficult for us, what with our 11-yr-old going to school in Daddy's state and spending holidays and summers with us in PA. It's tough.

I love your pic of that one hummer with the tiny red gorget feathers just coming in. Great!

Annie in Austin said...

We've had to say goodbye to good neighbors quite a few times over the years, and I'm sorry yours moved. On the other hand, Mary - you've moved a few times, and have only been two years in North Carolina...think how hard it must have been for your old neighbors when you were the ones doing the leaving!

Annie at the Transplantable Rose

Annie in Austin said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
LostRoses said...

Hormones, what are those? But I would hate to lose any of my neighbors and that would make me very sad too. A good neighborhood is just an extension of family, isn't it?

Anonymous said...

I'm with you, ''never'' say G.B., always 'see you later', even on the phone, can't recall not being this way, and make no apologies for it, nice to find there are those of like mind...

Anonymous said...

You're one crazy old lady! Good
luck being old and crazy, hope those kids get you sick. Worry about the things you can change, nut job!